you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
