Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
