Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
