No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
