yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
