I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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