She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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