Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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