Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize