Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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