I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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