Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
