I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
