I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
