Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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