Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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