summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
