Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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