Where did you get a picture of my penis
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
