Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
is wine microwaveable?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
