Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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