Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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