If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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