you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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