Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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