Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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