You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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