A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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