From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
