ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
