Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
