She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
