If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
