i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
