dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
