...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
