i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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