so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
