We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
