halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
