maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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