State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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