: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
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my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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