He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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