ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
