You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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