She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
is wine microwaveable?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
