Already got asked if we're dating
I puked a lego.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
