I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
