I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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