my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize