Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Even my vagina gasped.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This is classic penis vs brain.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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