.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize