If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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