It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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