I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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