That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize