I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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