Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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