dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
