i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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