Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
