party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
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I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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