it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
