you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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