It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
